Occasionally she took a glance out of the broken window and looked down the overgrown path that led to her lonely house on the hill.

She never noticed the broken glass until she cut herself accidentally. Did it matter?

Did anything matter at all?

No one would care she didn`t cared anymore. Funny, she thought, how everyone cries over broken things and sees it as their only problem at least for a day or two

But as soon as it is fixed no one takes care of it anymore they use it the same way they have used it before.

Maybe for the first few weeks they treat it with more care tell everyone to mind the crack in the freshly kitted salad bowl or to drive carefully with the new repaired car. As soon, they are back to their normal life routine they forget it ever was broken before. They mind their own problems as long as it somehow is functioning, as it should.

She looked at her abandoned house, which once was filled with laughter and joy.

Now the only thing audible was the wind howling through the broken window as if it was searching for something that was long gone.

She was insane; at least that was what the doctors had told her.

They gave her a bottle with some strange looking threatening pills and told her she should take them and then to go back home.

No questions how it happened no questions why she felt this way just the pills and the advice to take two of them one in the morning and one in the evening if she couldn`t sleep

The purpose of the pills was just to make her function again.

But she didn`t took them she wanted to feel all of it all the pain all the joy and all the things that she couldn`t define. She felt like an acrobat on a very high rope dancing on it with no fear. Dressed in a beautiful dress that was sparkling like diamonds. She

Was laughing up in heights where the wind was playing with her hair where he would whisper secrets to her that no one ever will know.

And if she told anyone, they just would smile at her and ask her if she was crazy.

Maybe she was maybe she was not. Who the hell knew that and who the hell cared?

She loved her way of living in her own world. However, it wasn`t always beautiful there she had to pay a high price for all the beauty she lived and experienced that no one else ever experienced.

She paid every night when she trembled on the rope and fell, fell far far down back into the black hole that would swallow everything she was or could ever be. It tore her soul out of her body and she could just watch. It was as if she was watching someone else screaming, crying, and begging it to be over just to end and take her.

Soon the ambulance would drive by because concerned neighbours heard the screaming and the begging from her house and then the same story would start repeatedly and never get to anything.

She was happy and sad and angry and a bunch of other things.

 Although she did not cared as long as she was able to feel something to feel the wind in her hair, to feel the first sunbeams in the morning that dried the wet grass from the morning dew that formed droplets that would break the sunlight in millions of different directions. She wanted to feel life with all dark and nasty sides of it because in the end everything even if it is the smallest thing imaginable it could change a lot.